I can’t remember when I learned the difference between “want” and “can” but I’m pretty sure I knew the difference before I learned how to spell them or how to use them correctly in a sentence.
I haven’t mastered the discernment between the two but most of the time the choice is made for me (and I have scars and many more childhood memories to prove it). I use what I’ve learned in future decision making, and that usually means I become more cautious. Sometimes this system serves me well, other times, not so much.
I took up swimming again as a way to possibly heal my hip and get some additional exercise while doing something I truly loved, what it’s evolved into is so much more. I’ve not only gotten some hard physical healing but also mental challenges I wasn’t expecting. I still find swimming relaxing but not in the typical way people think when they think of the word “relax.”
One of the benefits of swimming with a coach is discovering new boundaries for “want to” and “can do,” and it doesn’t always come from your coach.
Whenever I’ve been asked what I want to swim I always say something I’ve wanted to do for as long as I’ve wanted to be a competitive swimmer and I usually end with “You asked what I wanted to do, not what I thought I could do, because those are two completely different things.”
I can’t be the 1st human on the planet to voice such a sentiment and I’m certainly not the 1st one to ever feel this way.
One of the best, albeit weirdest, gifts Cerebral Palsy gives a person is the knowledge that “want” and “can” aren’t words that can be used interchangeably without a certain level of determination and hard work. There are times when you do get lucky but it’s not often.
We want to do things but sometimes our muscles, thanks to our brains, won’t let us. The difference between “want” and “can” is easier to figure out, but make no mistake that doesn’t make it easier to accept.
Plus, the divide between the worlds of “want” and “can” are often further apart for people with neuro-muscular conditions, which CP is.
Sometimes changing your “want” to be more in line with the “can” is in order, other times it takes a lot of work because changing the “want” just isn’t possible. And again, sometimes you just get lucky, which usually comes after a lot of hard work.
I’ll give you a few practical examples:
Zachary knew he couldn’t be a professional baseball player but that didn’t mean he couldn’t write about sports.
John wanted to join the Navy but couldn’t after he failed the physical so he went home and practiced until he could pass the physical.
I want to swim a 200m IM (because a 400m IM is just too insane, even for me) but I can’t without putting in some serious training time first.
I’ve learned to appreciate the differences between “want” and “can.” I don’t always like how big of a difference there is between the two but that often brings up a question which needs to be answered:
How bad do you want it?