I’ve been joking for a while that anyone who’s actually following my blog is watching its slow demise.
Honestly, I feel like I’m stringing people along instead of just making a decision (NOTE: if my intuition is correct tell me, especially if you have any strong opinions either way).
Here’s the truth, I’m really enjoying school. Like, if I have any free time at all I want to spend time working on assignments, at least 90% of the time anyway. Why bother putting off “little” assignments that you can get done pretty easily, if you had the time.
The exception being major papers, midterms, and finals, I’m not that far gone. And does anyone really look forward to that stuff?
If it were up to me I’d go to school full time and continue to freelance, because that’s been awesome too. Plus, my advisor, professors, and formation director are fully aware of my goals and more than ready and willing to support my simultaneous pursuits.
It’s a great ideal but it’s just that, my ideal. I have to work in order to make the rest of this work.
It’s a lot to fit in in any given day, but I’ve been able to make it work. In fact, my time management skills have improved greatly (although there is still plenty of room left to grow). So it’s not that I don’t have the time. I could make the time for something if I made it more of a priority.
Here’s the thing, my blog and who I am as a blogger needs to shift or maybe transition would be a better word. I’ve shifted topics from here to there and back again, so that’s not new to me. But I’m not getting the feeling that “Keep Calm & Blog On” is the approach I should take here.
I don’t want to stop blogging. That doesn’t feel right either. I would just be leaving a bigger gap where I’ve tried to fill a void. Nor do I want to overfill the void by telling you everything that’s been filling up my life and how it relates to having CP. I’d rather share the soapbox, if I have to stand on one at all.
So, I need to figure out what I’m doing here and more importantly why, at least when it comes to blogging.
Ideally, and I think what I’m heading towards, is more of an integration of all of my projects. Just how to go about that, if that’s really what’s meant to happen, is the challenge here.
But there’s one thing I have to do first, step back and think.
I’m choosing the back burner, because it feels right.
*A similar version of this post was published on December 30, 2014