August: The Recap

It’s difficult to know what to say about this past month. I’m (still) trying to rehab my shoulder. I know it could be taking longer than it is, but it still seems too long. I’m trying to take things slowly, but I’ve learned firsthand the double-edged sword of rehabbing as an athlete. Being goal orientated isn’t the problem; being patient and taking the time it needs to take to reach goals successfully is the problem.

I was out of the pool for a month. It went faster than I thought but it was still a long time away. I’m slowly working up to what will hopefully be full workouts sooner rather than later.

I had planned on staying away from the gym too, that is until my legs looked like they were having episodes of Clonus, at least to the untrained eye. I never thought I’d look forward to “leg day” but here we are.

Since my schedule has been cleared (basically obliterated) it’s given me more time to do other things.

And by other things I mean not leave the house and toll the internet for anything that pops into my head, which ends up being a lot of stream of conscious thinking.

I’ve been able to really look at the content that’s out there. A lot of it is great. A lot of it is a complete dumpster fire.

A while ago I wondered if I was screaming into the void known as the internet. Now I’m seeing a lot of people screaming, and it’s not into a void, it’s at other people.

While I’m enjoying countless Tw!tter threads and the exchanges happening (good, bad, and indifferent) I’m mostly enjoying them as a spectator. I want nothing to do with it as a participant. I have no desire to defend or deflect anything on social media.

It got me thinking, if this is the nature of social media now, do I have a place out there?

Of course, everyone has a place online, and if there isn’t one, you can make one for yourself. But that doesn’t mean you’ll get noticed or be accepted by others.

I’m at this crossroads of my digital life. There are plenty of people out there doing what I want to do, and I support them as much as I can, because they express themselves better than I ever could. Add into that that I’m finding social media is causing me anxiety and my lack of desire to engage in dialogue in a “public square.”

I’m finding more enjoyment in being a spectator than being an active participant, and that’s just fine with me.

I’m hoping once I get back to a more normal schedule things will just fall into place. If it doesn’t, I’ll figure it out. The internet isn’t going anywhere and it’s not like you can go “off grid” that easily these days.

Other that, Mister Lincoln, the play was great……