I’m pretty sure a lot of people never thought I’d reach this point, honestly, I had my own doubts at times.
As far as semesters go this one was fairly lonely, like my first one, except this time I was able to recognize the loneliness. I knew a few people in class but not well, and I really didn’t want to make any new friends (yes, I am that kind of person). I wouldn’t go back to last year if given the choice, but I missed comradery, much like last fall.
You’d think I’d have the whole studying routine down by now, but no, there were plenty of nights when I was clicking submit at the last minute. But there were times when I completed assignments a week ahead of time. So yeah, that time management thing went to both extremes.
Although there were times when I wanted to quit, no matter what semester it was, and return to life as a normal person now I don’t know what to do with myself.
I’ve caught up on Netfl!x, which didn’t take nearly as long as I would’ve thought. So much so that I’ve started and finished watching other things.
I’ve even read a book or two, which I swore I wasn’t going to do for 6 months, at least. And by book or two I mean I’ve read a pile or two of books.
I took a short break from swimming, but it was more of necessity than want. And I regretted it within 2 minutes of getting back in the water, the break from swimming, not the swimming itself.
People keep asking me “what’s next?”
Honestly, I have no idea.
Am I cut out to be a normal person anymore?
My face has been buried in books and writing papers for years. I’ve had to turn down more social engagements than I can count, I don’t care to, really.
School has been my excuse to not do things I don’t want to do, but didn’t want to just say no either, so it worked on a few fronts.
I’m sending out my resume again and seeing what’s out there. I’ve been doing it some in the last year but nowhere near seriously.
But that’s not the part that freaks me out the most, although it is daunting.
What will I do with my free time?
I’ve had projects on the backburner for years, but is it time to give them more attention?
That would require some shifting, for sure.
Should I pursue a career based on filling someone else’s shoes or should I continue to forge my own path?