Can someone please explain to me why life seems to happen in 2 months of the year rather than spread out over the 12 that exist?
The month went like this, although nowhere near as linier.
How was your month?
Can someone please explain to me why life seems to happen in 2 months of the year rather than spread out over the 12 that exist?
The month went like this, although nowhere near as linier.
How was your month?
This is going to be an attempt at a recap of the past 30+ days. I say attempt because I’ll probably forget something or get the order of events wrong.
Blogging: I haven’t done much, obviously. I intended to make some sort of cutback, but I never made a solid plan. I would sit down to write and not finish anything, and then it just became more natural to not write anything. I needed a break more than I thought I did. I’m not sure if it will continue or not but I’m pretty sure I’ll have peace no matter what conclusion I come to (or stumble towards). I have no idea how I kept up a blogging schedule with full work and school schedules.
Social Media: Every morning I (usually) lay in bed while checking email and scrolling social media. One day I found myself wondering why I followed some people because I found myself on an emotional roller-coaster that I had no intention or even interest in being on, yet there I was. The end result was going through all of the people I follow and unfollowing a good number. I can’t say I feel better, but things feel more manageable.
Books: I’m enjoying making use of public resources, and my bank account appears to be thanking me for it. I have slowed down my reading consumption but I’m still going at a somewhat steady pace. After checking out the wrong book, not once but twice, keeping up to date on Good Reads has become somewhat essential.
Clothing: I have a dwindling wardrobe, on purpose. I was looking for a pair of pants in my closet, and similar to what happened with my social media accounts, I ended up donating half of the pants I owned. I don’t know why I had so many pants because I think I only wear 3-4 pairs on a regular basis. The same thing happened with my sweaters soon after. I’m hoping this trend occurs with the rest of my possessions. Why did I feel I needed so much, because I clearly don’t need most of what I have even after a purge?
Ministry (or whatever you want to call it): I’m still working on my capstone project, even though it’s not really a project anymore. It hasn’t gained the traction I had hoped for and granted I haven’t been able to bring what I had in my head to the web, but it doesn’t feel right to just let it go.
Christmas: I have a fair amount of my shopping done. I don’t claim to be one of the “Christmas crazies” that enjoy starting the countdown to the big day in July, but I find it much easier to have a “shop as you go” approach to gift giving, rather than scrambling for the perfect gift closer to a deadline dictated by a calendar.
Work & Career: This could probably be two separate things but I’m making it one. I’m on the job hunt still writing cover letters and sending out my resume. Things are happening slowly but surely, and that’s fine with me. I made the decision to stop accepting speaking and educational engagements that don’t offer some sort of compensation. I can’t live solely off warm fuzzies an thinking I’m making the world a better place, so I needed to stop doing it.
Friends: They’re all off being amazing and doing amazing things, like this one, so I’m watching things happen wherever I go.
Podcasting: I’m considering a return of sorts so stay tuned, if you’re interested. I am listening to more podcasts, most notably The Catholic Family
Swimming & Other Physical Pursuits: The short of it is, same coach different environment. It’s been an adjustment, and a bigger one than I bargained for so I’m trying different things, for the sake of motivation, until something clicks. I have no idea how professional athletes change coaches and or environments semi-often and seem to not miss a beat.
So that was September. How was your month? Did I miss anything that I should have covered?
It’s the first summer of my post-post-grad life. The summer of dreamed of for years has come and is almost over. No, I’m not going back to school, at least not yet. Things haven’t gone how I thought they would. I’d be lying if I didn’t say keeping up this blog is getting harder and hard to do, not because of lack of time, but lack of motivation.
I thought not having school would free my mind, give me the free time I missed, etc.
Lucille Ball was quoted as saying, “If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it. The more things you do, the more you can do.”
I think there’s some truth to this, although not the total truth.
I feel like I could get more done in a day then than I can now, even if I can set my own schedule more often these days.
Perhaps getting back into everyday life is more than I bargained for. Perhaps my brain just needs to rejuvenate and heal, yes heal.
Maybe having more to do meant that I had more to write about.
Whatever the reasoning it’s caused me to reevaluate my blogging and social media practices, again.
I’ve been trying to put together my post-post-grad life, because it’s not something that just falls into your lap, unless you’re incredibly lucky, it’s something that needs to be built, and then crafted.
Things have been changing in my life and it only makes sense that other things will follow. It doesn’t matter what I thought the long game would be when I have to take into consideration what the long game looks like it is now, rather than what I wish the long game looked like.
I’m finding out that the older I get there’s so much more to learn than I ever thought there would be. I’ve often told my dad that, the older I get the dumber I feel, and most days I mean every word. Surviving Sandy was no exception.
I’ve lived through hurricanes before. This wasn’t my first evacuation either (and if I never have to do it again that’s fine with me). But there’s always room for another first.
I’ve always considered myself a tough person, kind of, when a lot of people tell you something, you start to believe it.
Up until recently my dad was an engineer for a major power company; I grew up knowing that having electricity is a right as well as a privilege.
I learned at an early age that there’s no master switch at your power company that someone uses to turn your power back on.
Going to work with dad often meant hanging out with a crew of linemen and bringing them coffee.
During major outages when it’s “all hands-on deck” my dad even worked as a lineman.
My parents (although largely my dad) have always stressed being prepared. Although a situation may not always be ideal do everything in your power to make sure you can in fact survive.
During my service orientation the concept of “no energy days” was brought up. I thought it was an interesting idea, but I was already giving up internet, cable, and who knew what else at that time. I didn’t want to jump on the bandwagon before I actually moved into the house or talked to my housemates.
Sometime later and over dinner we discussed bills. It was suggested that one person in the house handled the bills. We agreed, but also wanted to be kept in the loop. I for one didn’t want one person telling me what I could or couldn’t do just because they paid the bills.
“No energy days” were appealing. We were all curious as to how far we could stretch ourselves in certain areas. The volunteers from the year before had “no energy days” regularly; I figured we could do it too, and better (although it wasn’t a competition, my brain often made one between the two groups).
I don’t remember many of the details of our “no energy day,” or how many we had. But when it came down to it it didn’t make much of a difference to us as a community, we were already unplugging things when they weren’t being used, we embraced, the fireplace, wearing layers and blankets before turning to the thermostat.
I also lived with a Montanan. For those of you who have never lived with a Montanan let me explain to you just how this impacts your life. They’re like the boy scouts on steroids, at least from what I’ve experienced.
And repercussions of such never leave you; like deciding to stay home in freezing temperatures because you have a mummy bag, plenty of stored up water, reading to catch up on, and a headlamp to read by.
Fast forward to Sandy. Honestly, I should’ve been able to handle it better. I have the skills and the know-how. Living without power, for example, for an extended period of time isn’t ideal but its doable, people survived without phones and TVs and such for hundreds of years after all.
Somehow in the personal debriefing of the situation, and unpacking, and organizing, a thought crosses my mind.
Choosing to go without has a purpose behind it, like self-discovery or solidarity or simplicity.
Going without do to circumstances beyond your control requires more out of a person. It requires just one more thing for you to do without, but it’s the biggest thing most people don’t want to give up.
Next time you find yourself going without, in whatever form that takes, may the choice be with you.
One More Thing: Next time you have a power outage & you see a crew of linemen out there working to restore your power bring them some coffee (or a thank you card). They not only work hard but long hours (12-16 during major outages) & many of them wouldn’t dream of doing anything else.
*A similar version of this post was written on November 13, 2012
I started blogging when it wasn’t a popular thing to do. I didn’t really read other blogs, if I did it was because another blogger left a comment on my blog first. It wasn’t until I was out late one night for a cast party when the director confessed that he often spent hours every night reading random blogs, literally random, he rarely read the same blog twice.
It was only a few years later that my bookmarks were full of blogs, which I checked before starting my day, every day. At times it took up so much time that I was almost late to class on multiple occasions.
At some point I stopped reading my laundry list of blogs and moved on. I’m not sure why but it’s how it happened.
However, I knew the power of blogging. So much so that I compiled a list of blogs that were similar to mine in one aspect. Mainly because I wanted other people to be able to find what I wanted to see for years.
Every once and a while I’d check in on a blog or two that I used to visit daily (or even multiple times a day if called for) to catch up on what’s been going on with that individual, or their child, or their family, or some mixture of any of it.
Some have disappeared. Some of their authors and/or their children have even died.
Some haven’t been updated. Some are still around, a few are even thriving, but it’s not the same as it was.
I suppose it’s a good thing, but I wonder what the downsides are.
These days it’s rare that I read any blog on a regular basis.
These days I grab my phone, 99% of the time before I’ve even gotten out of bed and scroll through social media platforms. I scroll so fast I doubt I’m actually reading anything, unless osmosis is indeed possible.
Some of my blogging friends have turned to Inst@gram I feel like that’s become the new blogging in some ways. I miss the blog posts, but I appreciate that Inst@gam is probably a better fit for their lives these days.
One of my biggest issues with social networking platforms is that I can’t compile a list of people in similar life circumstances that I can with blogs, even if I make a list it’s hard to let others know about it in the same way you can with blogs.
It’s difficult to foster the same type of environment on social media platforms as you can with blogs and the opposite is true as well.
And given how the internet & other technologies have evolved over the years I keep coming back to one question:
Is blogging dead?
My first instinct is to say yes. But upon deeper reflection I’m more inclined to say that it’s just not how it was. It’s just evolved.
The last podcast recording I meaningfully took part in was about a year ago. I was feeling that it was time to move on, because podcasting is more work than I had anticipated, even though I basically just show up and talk.
However, the fates had other plans.
I stopped watching Speechless halfway through the season. It wasn’t intentional, but it was a perfect storm that made it pretty easy to stop watching & not feel like I missed anything.
Instead I watched other things, on network TV, cable, and Netfl!x; and noticed a lot of portrayal of disability (and lack thereof, etc.).
Some of it was good, some was great, some was downright horrible. I asked Daniel if he would be interested in recording a podcast on the subject, and he was.
What do you think about the various portrayals of disability on TV (or media in general? Do you have any favorites? How about aversions?
There was a time when I’d spend my nights reading blogs, but these days I’m more likely to read threads of hashtags.
I thought I’d share a few of my favorites, in no particular order, for no particular reason:
Do #ILoveMyDisability? In so many ways, yes.
It is a part of my identity that has led to a full heart and a full life.
You know what I don’t love? The stigma. The lack of access. The painful days. The ignorance. Sometimes, my own body.
These complexities make me who I am.
— Emily Ladau (@emily_ladau) March 18, 2018
Yeah, it’s damn hard
Yeah, a lot was taken from me
But it makes me who I am and it has given me the most wonderful perspective. I cherish things now and don’t take anything for granted.
I don’t want a cure, but I do want accessibility and understanding.
— Jessica Marie (@JessCanSo) March 17, 2018
#ILoveMyDisability because I want acceptance and love#ILoveMyDisability because I don’t want no damn cure to make me normal or neurotypical#ILoveMyDisability because I am not ashamed of being me#ILoveMyDisability because it is part of my identity
— Kayla Smith (@BeingKaylaSmith) March 19, 2018
I live with pain and illness. I often have issues walking & need a walker. My left arm doesn’t work well.
— Erin Beth (@yellow_erin) March 19, 2018
It’s not always easy, but I wouldn’t be who I am without my disability. Seems funny, but for all the times it’s tried to kill me, it genuinely saved my life. I would hate the person I’d have been without it. #ILoveMyDisability
— Cass♿🏳️🌈 (@DiannaAretes) March 19, 2018
To say #ILoveMyDisability is not 100% true for me. I hate the pain. I hate the that my disabilities make certain parts of life less accessible to me.
But I LOVE how these challenges have formed me into a person I’m not sure I’d be otherwise. I love what I’ve learned from them.
— Bend, Don’t Break. (@_benddontbreak_) March 18, 2018
I’m not sure whether #ILoveMyDisability but I know for sure I don’t hate it. Which I think really says something since especially recently, my disabilities bring with them lots of things to dislike, both medical & social. Obviously, the disability experience is complex & mixed.
— Andrew Pulrang (@AndrewPulrang) March 18, 2018
I was able bodied for the first 34 years of my life. #ILoveMyDisability because losing my autonomy for several months while my back was broken has humbled me in a way that wouldn’t have been possible as an able bodied white woman.
— Stefanie Mezigian (@SmthgsAfootMI11) March 18, 2018
i hate having weak muscles. i hate being treated differently. i hate anxiety. i hate depression. i hate oppression.
but #ILoveMyDisability, i love being part of the disability community, i love my wheelchair, and i love every single part of me, even the things i sometimes hate.
— Jensen Caraballo (@GimpSwagg) March 18, 2018
#ILoveMyDisability because it’s made me who I am as a person. It’s made me feel determined to reach my goals, not letting anyone in my way of reaching them because I know my worth and I want to change people’s perceptions of disability.
— Lupita Sandoval ♿️ (@HeyitsLupita) March 17, 2018
One morning I woke up and got dressed, it’s what I do most days, but this morning in particular was different.
I was planning this outfit for at least a week.
It wasn’t fancy by any means but, for me, it was more important than any fancy dress (or anything else). It was part of the most important presentation of my life (at least so far).
One of the last pieces of my master’s degree was completing a capstone of some sort. Originally, I was going to write a paper. I had been planning it since the beginning, and I wanted to be able to pull something I had written off a shelf in the library at a later date. I pictured future students finding my work and incorporating it into their own, just as I had done, but one sentence changed my mind.
“If you did a project it will have the potential to reach a greater audience.”
I thought back to the final projects I’d done in other courses. What could I use from any of those, if any.
I decided to do a project, but that would mean enrolling in the seminar rather than working by myself (a method I prefer, or at least I thought I would).
Before my project would be finished I would have to workshop it with a small group and then present it during the seminar.
I was, to the best of my knowledge, the only student in my class born with a physical disability. So, I didn’t just have to present my project. I also had to give everyone a crash course in living with a disability.
I put thought into every detail, over and over again. Knowing everyone would go back to their everyday lives I wanted them to come away with more than what they came with, other than how good my project was.
Mainly I wanted them to know that people with childhood disabilities grow up and become adults, that we’re probably not what they thought, that the disabled aren’t looking for pity or continually bitter. I wanted them to see disability from a different point of view.
The outfit was only the last piece of my part of arming my peers for the future.
There are certain things I can count on as Lent approaches. Without a doubt, “What are you giving up for Lent?” is the most popular question to ask and/or be asked.
Now that social media has become such an important part of our lives it’s natural to consider whether or not to give it up for 40 days. I have several friends who engage in this practice, problem is most of them don’t use social media that much anyway. So is it really that sacrificial or are they really getting any benefit from it?
A point worth considering, but not the one I wanted to make right now.
As I write this there’s a snowstorm outside (I’m a write ahead & schedule blogging type). In fact at one point it was snowing so hard that it was snowing sideways. Thus my plans for the day have been canceled and I’m attempting to stay occupied indoors. In a way it’s going to make the point of this post much more poignant, at least I hope so.
The internet, and social media, has opened up everyone’s world. What I don’t think a lot of people realize is just how much it’s opened up the world for those with disabilities.
I wouldn’t be friends with many people if it weren’t for the internet, or at least I wouldn’t be as good of friends with people if things didn’t start on the internet. Let’s just say as an introvert with a disability it’s nice to get the “getting to know you” stuff out of the way when you only get to see people in person a few times in your entire life.
I can’t forget to mention Sara. If there’s anyone who taught me that just because you have physical limits doesn’t mean you can’t create solid friendships and an intentional community. Our friendship may have been short but it left me forever changed.
I don’t suggest giving up social media for Lent for one quasi-simple reason:
You may be part of someone’s community, and it may be the only community they have access to (especially in the winter months).
Giving up your social media routine for 40 days may seem like a good idea and in some ways it can be beneficial but if you do consider who you’ll be leaving behind for 40 days.
Here are some thoughts to consider:
How much can happen in 40 days?
Also consider your group of friends, do they also give something(s) up for Lent?
Do you all give up the same thing for Lent? If so, do you still have that same sense of community because you have other ways of keeping in contact or are you able to see each other in person?
Do you have one friend (or maybe more) that seems uncomfortable with your plan for a 40 day social media fast?
Have you ever stopped and really considered why someone is resistant to give up social media (especially if you “only” know them virtually)?
Lenten sacrifices are meant to make you a better person, but not at the expense of other people. If your sacrifice is harmful to someone else than are you really working towards a greater communion with the Body of Christ?
Alternatives to consider:
Cut back on your social media practices. Check in once a day or once a week.
Post the same thing on all of your social media accounts (idea borrowed from Pat Padley FYI).
Keep community connected through email or text, or an old fashioned phone call.
Make your intentions known early on, as in before today, so if any of your friends have reservations or objections you can engage in thoughtful conversation.
Have a way to contact you on your social media profiles and make it easy to find. Have you ever received an “out of office reply” with a contact email or number included? Like that.
I’m not saying that you absolutely shouldn’t give up social media for Lent.
I’m not God, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit so I can’t say such things with absolute conviction. But I wish people wouldn’t make the decision as easily as they seem to. Virtual community isn’t the same as in person community but it’s still a community that needs nurturing, attention, and people to take part in it.
*A similar version of this post first appeared on an old blog on February 10, 2016
This summer was bananas, all kinds of emotions going full throttle bananas.
I can’t believe I’m actually writing about this.
I learned during my first summer than students often mark their time by summers, and there’s a certain satisfaction that comes with saying “this is my last summer.”
I’ve watched many of my classmates go through their last summer, each has been different, each having their own positives and negatives. I knew what I wanted to do and what not to do. I wanted to end on a good note and have the best experience possible.
I even consulted people and made a plan to have a full yet enjoyable summer.
Very little of the plan went according to plan, as is usually the case.
This summer went much like last summer in the respect that a lot of my classmates and I had the same classes so we spent plenty of time together over a short period of time (although not really because we started courses around the same time).
One thing people get wrong about distance learning is that it’s isolating. Yes, there is an element of that but, if it’s a small program you’re anything but isolated. In fact, I think there was only one person I didn’t know before class began (and I kept referring to her as “the new person” which is completely false in terms of remaining course load).
The first week was fairly relaxed, compared to previous years, it was the only time I didn’t have a morning class. A luxury I had been wanting for years but the opportunity never came about & I chose to forgo the meal plan again so while people were down at breakfast and/or hurrying off to class I was still in bed indulging in well overdue Netfl!x binging.
And by noon I was bored out of my skull.
I took care of a few things, like tuition, scholarship requirements, etc. It was nice to get all of it out of the way but it didn’t take very long so it was shaping up to be a long week and it was only day one.
I did the majority of my course work before arriving and my first presentation wasn’t until the end of the week so I was able to watch everyone’s and make adjustments (and practice, over and over).
The week closed well but I couldn’t help but keep thinking about my presentation. It could have been better, I think, so there was plenty of work to do before I turned in the final project (hell there’s still a lot to do & grades are in).
The weekend was pretty low key considering how much work lay ahead. I think what helped was the fact that we were all in the same boat so if someone was struggling (which I was, I just didn’t know it) there were other people to pick you up (and in my case 3 or 4, I can’t remember).
Pro tip: Make friends with someone who can pack anything (& nearly everything) in a suitcase without
Because my presentations (or really practicum requirements) were scheduled for the beginning of the week it meant that I had a lot to do in the span of less than a week. I wasn’t a big fan but at the same time I liked the idea of being done on Tuesday, because the 2nd week of classes came with a mandatory early wake up & Theological Reflection at night.
This summer was unlike any of my previous summers for many reasons but mainly because there were many group activities outside of class. Meals, for the most part, were together. We saw more of the outside world, together. Whenever someone was going to do something they asked who wanted to come along. In one way, it was how we made the most of our final time together.
This was the summer I couldn’t wait to have, my “final summer.” It’s something that gets hyped up in one way or another by everyone, even yourself. There are certain rites of passage that you don’t get to have until that “final summer.” What often gets overlooked as the emotions that come along with it, at least for me.
While I’m not done with school yet the experience is certainly coming to a close. The blessings have been given the good byes (even if just temporary) have been said.
It’s time for a new group to start their countdown to their own last summer.