November, the month when life was supposed to be spaced out. No back to back to back meetings in one day, meaning I’m at risk of falling asleep while on Z00m.
Turns out it doesn’t matter how few meetings I have via Z00m there’s still a good chance I’ll wish I could take a nap during the meeting. It doesn’t matter how interested I am in meeting topics. 20 minutes in and I’m struggling to not zone out.
I’m hoping my systems are just trying to recover from the chaos of the last year
I’m hoping that’s what it is, but the pessimist in me is saying that it’s not that simple.
My life is hardly ever that simple, so I don’t expect one of the hardest years of my life to be any different.
Somehow, I blinked, and the month was over, which has both good and bad points.
The holiday season is in full swing, which is usually a huge stresser for me, but this year I’m seeing it as being closer to the end of the holiday season.
More pessimism indeed.
Thank goodness I plan my gift purchasing early or else I’d just be browsing flash sales on Amaz0n during my restless, pretty-close-to-sleepless nights.
It’s been almost a year since I finished school and I’m thinking about going back, unbelievably. I’m not sure why if I’m being honest. I don’t want to spend all my free time writing papers or trying to find time to fit in reading a few pages of an utterly confusing text. But it gave me structure, guidelines, nonnegotiables, that’s the part I actually miss.
I can’t believe I miss saying, “I can’t. I have a paper to write.”
And then procrastinating on actually writing said paper(s).
I think I got too used to writing that I’ve lost what little social skills I had.
This month has brought an increase in debates and disagreements. I can’t say I regret anything that’s happened because I don’t regret anything I said or did that led to said disagreements. People have differing points of view and that’s OK.
What’s not OK with me and makes me want to keep an increasing distance from people is that people feel that because we don’t agree there must have been some misinterpretation, that something was read wrong, taken too personally, etc. Why can’t people disagree and have all parties involved be OK with it?
The year is coming to an end. I can’t wait for it. I can’t see what’s on the horizon either so things are bound to be interesting.
11 months down, one more to go.