Grad School: The 1st Summer After

It’s the first summer of my post-post-grad life. The summer of dreamed of for years has come and is almost over. No, I’m not going back to school, at least not yet. Things haven’t gone how I thought they would. I’d be lying if I didn’t say keeping up this blog is getting harder and hard to do, not because of lack of time, but lack of motivation.

I thought not having school would free my mind, give me the free time I missed, etc.

Lucille Ball was quoted as saying, If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it. The more things you do, the more you can do.”

I think there’s some truth to this, although not the total truth.

I feel like I could get more done in a day then than I can now, even if I can set my own schedule more often these days.

If you follow me on Inst@gram or Tw!tter you can probably guess what I’ve been doing with my self-controlled schedule.

Perhaps getting back into everyday life is more than I bargained for. Perhaps my brain just needs to rejuvenate and heal, yes heal.

Maybe having more to do meant that I had more to write about.

Whatever the reasoning it’s caused me to reevaluate my blogging and social media practices, again.

I’ve been trying to put together my post-post-grad life, because it’s not something that just falls into your lap, unless you’re incredibly lucky, it’s something that needs to be built, and then crafted.

Things have been changing in my life and it only makes sense that other things will follow. It doesn’t matter what I thought the long game would be when I have to take into consideration what the long game looks like it is now, rather than what I wish the long game looked like.

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May The Choice Be With You

I’m finding out that the older I get there’s so much more to learn than I ever thought there would be. I’ve often told my dad that, the older I get the dumber I feel, and most days I mean every word. Surviving Sandy was no exception.

I’ve lived through hurricanes before. This wasn’t my first evacuation either (and if I never have to do it again that’s fine with me). But there’s always room for another first.

I’ve always considered myself a tough person, kind of, when a lot of people tell you something, you start to believe it.

Up until recently my dad was an engineer for a major power company; I grew up knowing that having electricity is a right as well as a privilege.

I learned at an early age that there’s no master switch at your power company that someone uses to turn your power back on.

Going to work with dad often meant hanging out with a crew of linemen and bringing them coffee.

During major outages when it’s “all hands-on deck” my dad even worked as a lineman.

My parents (although largely my dad) have always stressed being prepared. Although a situation may not always be ideal do everything in your power to make sure you can in fact survive.

During my service orientation the concept of “no energy days” was brought up. I thought it was an interesting idea, but I was already giving up internet, cable, and who knew what else at that time. I didn’t want to jump on the bandwagon before I actually moved into the house or talked to my housemates.

Sometime later and over dinner we discussed bills. It was suggested that one person in the house handled the bills. We agreed, but also wanted to be kept in the loop. I for one didn’t want one person telling me what I could or couldn’t do just because they paid the bills.

“No energy days” were appealing. We were all curious as to how far we could stretch ourselves in certain areas. The volunteers from the year before had “no energy days” regularly; I figured we could do it too, and better (although it wasn’t a competition, my brain often made one between the two groups).

I don’t remember many of the details of our “no energy day,” or how many we had. But when it came down to it it didn’t make much of a difference to us as a community, we were already unplugging things when they weren’t being used, we embraced, the fireplace, wearing layers and blankets before turning to the thermostat.

I also lived with a Montanan. For those of you who have never lived with a Montanan let me explain to you just how this impacts your life. They’re like the boy scouts on steroids, at least from what I’ve experienced.

And repercussions of such never leave you; like deciding to stay home in freezing temperatures because you have a mummy bag, plenty of stored up water, reading to catch up on, and a headlamp to read by.

Fast forward to Sandy. Honestly, I should’ve been able to handle it better. I have the skills and the know-how. Living without power, for example, for an extended period of time isn’t ideal but its doable, people survived without phones and TVs and such for hundreds of years after all.

Somehow in the personal debriefing of the situation, and unpacking, and organizing, a thought crosses my mind.

Choosing to go without has a purpose behind it, like self-discovery or solidarity or simplicity.

Going without do to circumstances beyond your control requires more out of a person. It requires just one more thing for you to do without, but it’s the biggest thing most people don’t want to give up.

Control.

Next time you find yourself going without, in whatever form that takes, may the choice be with you.

One More Thing: Next time you have a power outage & you see a crew of linemen out there working to restore your power bring them some coffee (or a thank you card). They not only work hard but long hours (12-16 during major outages) & many of them wouldn’t dream of doing anything else.

*A similar version of this post was written on November 13, 2012

Is Blogging Dead?

I started blogging when it wasn’t a popular thing to do. I didn’t really read other blogs, if I did it was because another blogger left a comment on my blog first. It wasn’t until I was out late one night for a cast party when the director confessed that he often spent hours every night reading random blogs, literally random, he rarely read the same blog twice.

It was only a few years later that my bookmarks were full of blogs, which I checked before starting my day, every day. At times it took up so much time that I was almost late to class on multiple occasions.

At some point I stopped reading my laundry list of blogs and moved on. I’m not sure why but it’s how it happened.

However, I knew the power of blogging. So much so that I compiled a list of blogs that were similar to mine in one aspect. Mainly because I wanted other people to be able to find what I wanted to see for years.

Every once and a while I’d check in on a blog or two that I used to visit daily (or even multiple times a day if called for) to catch up on what’s been going on with that individual, or their child, or their family, or some mixture of any of it.

Some have disappeared. Some of their authors and/or their children have even died.

Some haven’t been updated. Some are still around, a few are even thriving, but it’s not the same as it was.

I suppose it’s a good thing, but I wonder what the downsides are.

These days it’s rare that I read any blog on a regular basis.

These days I grab my phone, 99% of the time before I’ve even gotten out of bed and scroll through social media platforms. I scroll so fast I doubt I’m actually reading anything, unless osmosis is indeed possible.

Some of my blogging friends have turned to Inst@gram I feel like that’s become the new blogging in some ways. I miss the blog posts, but I appreciate that Inst@gam is probably a better fit for their lives these days.

One of my biggest issues with social networking platforms is that I can’t compile a list of people in similar life circumstances that I can with blogs, even if I make a list it’s hard to let others know about it in the same way you can with blogs.

It’s difficult to foster the same type of environment on social media platforms as you can with blogs and the opposite is true as well.

And given how the internet & other technologies have evolved over the years I keep coming back to one question:

Is blogging dead?

My first instinct is to say yes. But upon deeper reflection I’m more inclined to say that it’s just not how it was. It’s just evolved.

Speaking, Again

The last podcast recording I meaningfully took part in was about a year ago. I was feeling that it was time to move on, because podcasting is more work than I had anticipated, even though I basically just show up and talk.

However, the fates had other plans.

I stopped watching Speechless halfway through the season. It wasn’t intentional, but it was a perfect storm that made it pretty easy to stop watching & not feel like I missed anything.

Instead I watched other things, on network TV, cable, and Netfl!x; and noticed a lot of portrayal of disability (and lack thereof, etc.).

Some of it was good, some was great, some was downright horrible. I asked Daniel if he would be interested in recording a podcast on the subject, and he was.

So, we did.

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What do you think about the various portrayals of disability on TV (or media in general? Do you have any favorites? How about aversions?

#ILoveMyDisability

There was a time when I’d spend my nights reading blogs, but these days I’m more likely to read threads of hashtags.

#SayTheWord & #StopAbleism2015 are two that kept me up late at night scrolling though people’s thoughts. #ILoveMyDisability is just the latest one.

I thought I’d share a few of my favorites, in no particular order, for no particular reason:

 

Arming For The Future

One morning I woke up and got dressed, it’s what I do most days, but this morning in particular was different.

I was planning this outfit for at least a week.

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It wasn’t fancy by any means but, for me, it was more important than any fancy dress (or anything else). It was part of the most important presentation of my life (at least so far).

One of the last pieces of my master’s degree was completing a capstone of some sort. Originally, I was going to write a paper. I had been planning it since the beginning, and I wanted to be able to pull something I had written off a shelf in the library at a later date. I pictured future students finding my work and incorporating it into their own, just as I had done, but one sentence changed my mind.

“If you did a project it will have the potential to reach a greater audience.”

I thought back to the final projects I’d done in other courses. What could I use from any of those, if any.

I decided to do a project, but that would mean enrolling in the seminar rather than working by myself (a method I prefer, or at least I thought I would).

Before my project would be finished I would have to workshop it with a small group and then present it during the seminar.

I was, to the best of my knowledge, the only student in my class born with a physical disability. So, I didn’t just have to present my project. I also had to give everyone a crash course in living with a disability.

I put thought into every detail, over and over again. Knowing everyone would go back to their everyday lives I wanted them to come away with more than what they came with, other than how good my project was.

Mainly I wanted them to know that people with childhood disabilities grow up and become adults, that we’re probably not what they thought, that the disabled aren’t looking for pity or continually bitter. I wanted them to see disability from a different point of view.

The outfit was only the last piece of my part of arming my peers for the future.

Why I: Don’t Suggest Giving Up Social Media For Lent

There are certain things I can count on as Lent approaches. Without a doubt, “What are you giving up for Lent?” is the most popular question to ask and/or be asked.

Now that social media has become such an important part of our lives it’s natural to consider whether or not to give it up for 40 days. I have several friends who engage in this practice, problem is most of them don’t use social media that much anyway. So is it really that sacrificial or are they really getting any benefit from it?

A point worth considering, but not the one I wanted to make right now.

As I write this there’s a snowstorm outside (I’m a write ahead & schedule blogging type). In fact at one point it was snowing so hard that it was snowing sideways. Thus my plans for the day have been canceled and I’m attempting to stay occupied indoors. In a way it’s going to make the point of this post much more poignant, at least I hope so.

The internet, and social media, has opened up everyone’s world. What I don’t think a lot of people realize is just how much it’s opened up the world for those with disabilities.

I wouldn’t be friends with many people if it weren’t for the internet, or at least I wouldn’t be as good of friends with people if things didn’t start on the internet. Let’s just say as an introvert with a disability it’s nice to get the “getting to know you” stuff out of the way when you only get to see people in person a few times in your entire life.

I can’t forget to mention Sara. If there’s anyone who taught me that just because you have physical limits doesn’t mean you can’t create solid friendships and an intentional community. Our friendship may have been short but it left me forever changed.

I don’t suggest giving up social media for Lent for one quasi-simple reason:

You may be part of someone’s community, and it may be the only community they have access to (especially in the winter months).

Giving up your social media routine for 40 days may seem like a good idea and in some ways it can be beneficial but if you do consider who you’ll be leaving behind for 40 days.

Here are some thoughts to consider:

How much can happen in 40 days?

Also consider your group of friends, do they also give something(s) up for Lent?

Do you all give up the same thing for Lent? If so, do you still have that same sense of community because you have other ways of keeping in contact or are you able to see each other in person?

Do you have one friend (or maybe more) that seems uncomfortable with your plan for a 40 day social media fast?

Have you ever stopped and really considered why someone is resistant to give up social media (especially if you “only” know them virtually)?

Lenten sacrifices are meant to make you a better person, but not at the expense of other people. If your sacrifice is harmful to someone else than are you really working towards a greater communion with the Body of Christ?

Alternatives to consider:

Cut back on your social media practices. Check in once a day or once a week.

Post the same thing on all of your social media accounts (idea borrowed from Pat Padley FYI).

Keep community connected through email or text, or an old fashioned phone call.

Make your intentions known early on, as in before today, so if any of your friends have reservations or objections you can engage in thoughtful conversation.

Have a way to contact you on your social media profiles and make it easy to find. Have you ever received an “out of office reply” with a contact email or number included? Like that.

I’m not saying that you absolutely shouldn’t give up social media for Lent.

I’m not God, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit so I can’t say such things with absolute conviction. But I wish people wouldn’t make the decision as easily as they seem to. Virtual community isn’t the same as in person community but it’s still a community that needs nurturing, attention, and people to take part in it.

*A similar version of this post first appeared on an old blog on February 10, 2016

Grad School: The Last Summer

This summer was bananas, all kinds of emotions going full throttle bananas.

I can’t believe I’m actually writing about this.

I learned during my first summer than students often mark their time by summers, and there’s a certain satisfaction that comes with saying “this is my last summer.”

I’ve watched many of my classmates go through their last summer, each has been different, each having their own positives and negatives. I knew what I wanted to do and what not to do. I wanted to end on a good note and have the best experience possible.

I even consulted people and made a plan to have a full yet enjoyable summer.

Very little of the plan went according to plan, as is usually the case.

This summer went much like last summer in the respect that a lot of my classmates and I had the same classes so we spent plenty of time together over a short period of time (although not really because we started courses around the same time).

One thing people get wrong about distance learning is that it’s isolating. Yes, there is an element of that but, if it’s a small program you’re anything but isolated. In fact, I think there was only one person I didn’t know before class began (and I kept referring to her as “the new person” which is completely false in terms of remaining course load).

The first week was fairly relaxed, compared to previous years, it was the only time I didn’t have a morning class. A luxury I had been wanting for years but the opportunity never came about & I chose to forgo the meal plan again so while people were down at breakfast and/or hurrying off to class I was still in bed indulging in well overdue Netfl!x binging.

And by noon I was bored out of my skull.

I took care of a few things, like tuition, scholarship requirements, etc. It was nice to get all of it out of the way but it didn’t take very long so it was shaping up to be a long week and it was only day one.

I did the majority of my course work before arriving and my first presentation wasn’t until the end of the week so I was able to watch everyone’s and make adjustments (and practice, over and over).

If you follow me on Inst@gram you saw how much detail I put into my presentation, although it may have come off fairly low-key.

The week closed well but I couldn’t help but keep thinking about my presentation. It could have been better, I think, so there was plenty of work to do before I turned in the final project (hell there’s still a lot to do & grades are in).

The weekend was pretty low key considering how much work lay ahead. I think what helped was the fact that we were all in the same boat so if someone was struggling (which I was, I just didn’t know it) there were other people to pick you up (and in my case 3 or 4, I can’t remember).

Pro tip: Make friends with someone who can pack anything (& nearly everything) in a suitcase without

Because my presentations (or really practicum requirements) were scheduled for the beginning of the week it meant that I had a lot to do in the span of less than a week. I wasn’t a big fan but at the same time I liked the idea of being done on Tuesday, because the 2nd week of classes came with a mandatory early wake up & Theological Reflection at night.

This summer was unlike any of my previous summers for many reasons but mainly because there were many group activities outside of class. Meals, for the most part, were together. We saw more of the outside world, together. Whenever someone was going to do something they asked who wanted to come along. In one way, it was how we made the most of our final time together.

This was the summer I couldn’t wait to have, my “final summer.”  It’s something that gets hyped up in one way or another by everyone, even yourself. There are certain rites of passage that you don’t get to have until that “final summer.” What often gets overlooked as the emotions that come along with it, at least for me.

While I’m not done with school yet the experience is certainly coming to a close. The blessings have been given the good byes (even if just temporary) have been said.

It’s time for a new group to start their countdown to their own last summer.

Speechless For Now, Or For Good

I recently wrapped my 1st stint as a podcaster. It was an interesting experience to say the least. It wasn’t something I ever envisioned doing but I didn’t want to turn down the opportunity.  It was a new challenge. And in all honesty, it was one I wasn’t always up for.

Now that the season is over I’m taking time to evaluate whether I want to do another season. If you listen to the season finale episode you’ll hear me joke about whether you’ll hear me on Special Chronicles in the future.

Honestly, I haven’t made any decision either way at this point.

There’s a lot to consider, now that I know what podcasting really involves.

-I have other projects I’d like to work on.
-Do I have the time for everything?
-Do I have the energy for everything?
-Can I produce enough quality content?
-Do I want to produce more content than I’m already producing?
-Do I have anything left to say that someone hasn’t said or can’t say?
-I went into this venture thinking it would be a temporary gig, although it lasted longer than I thought, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t still meant to be temporary.

And that’s just the short list of thoughts.

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When does one truly know when to step back, move on, or carry on?

I guess we’ll all find out the answer in the fall, at least in this case.

Let’s Talk About Porn

Having a blog and a podcast is an interesting experience. Granted I didn’t think I’d be podcasting for that long. I thought it would be a sprint rather than a distance event, which this venture has now seemingly turned into.

I wanted to share our latest recording, and for a few reasons (1) it’s an important topic, (2) I didn’t feel the need to write down what I’ve already said, (3) I want your feedback on the topic.

I’ve talked about inspirational porn before but being able to have a mainstream TV show address it in a relatable way opened a door for me to be able to see the topic in a different way.

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Listen to H-E-R–HERO

How do you feel about inspirational porn?
Where or how do you think started inspirational porn?
Do you think inspiration porn started with Tiny Tim or someone else?
Did it start with the saints or maybe the life of Jesus Christ?
Do you think we’ll ever be able to get rid of inspirational porn altogether?