Why I: Survived Bullies

I’ve been called an old soul a few times, as most recently as a few weeks ago. This makes me laugh because I am nothing of the sort, at least I don’t feel like it.

It’s true I use to play At@ri, jumped on the St@wberry Shortcake/C@re Bear bandwagon before my peers, and I counted down until the premiere of the new D@llas series because I’ve watched nearly all the episodes of the 80s series; but I think that hardly qualifies me as an “old soul.”

I’m my parents’ only child; however they come from big families themselves so my extended family is vast, yet fairly close.

My aunt grew up taking care of my dad, because that’s what kids in big families do. Their birthdays are a day apart (and a few years), which just adds to their closeness.

My childhood was filled with family events and play dates of every type, shape, and size available.

For the most part I was around boys my own age or people who were older (& I won’t be saying how much in case some of those people ever find this blog). Plus only children are pretty much “grown up” by 7 since they spend so much time around adults, or so I’ve heard.

It’s all ingredients for an interesting childhood. As Opr@h says, “It’s what I know for sure.”

(This also explains why the first time I lived with girls I was almost 20, and had a really hard time with it all. And the first time I moved into a house with people I barely knew I was not-that-secretly happy that one was a dude. It’s an absolute myth that girls are cleaner, at least when it comes to bathrooms…..especially when it comes to bathrooms)

I’ve been more or less “at the end of the line” when it comes to development (CP aside). When everyone’s babies became kids, I was the baby. When the kids became teenagers, I was the kid. When everyone had school years in the rearview mirror I was looking at colleges.

Let’s not forget I was the little kid for all the big kids to practice parent, and just flat out have fun with. Although there was one time during the flood of “how are things going at school” emails and calls when an older cousin was having something of a midlife crisis and decided to share it with me, when I was 18 and trying to not flunk out of school.

The funny thing is, if you want to call it that, was that I don’t ever remember telling anyone I was bullied (except for begging my parents to let me transfer schools). My all knowing babysitter knew, but her younger sisters went to the same school and had classrooms on the same floor, so she had an exclusive to my preteen/teen torture.

If I ever said anything no one ever made a big deal out of it. It would’ve made matters worse anyway. Instead I was almost always given advice that didn’t pertain to the moment, it was lifelong advice. It would’ve been nice to have someone go in an “have a talk” with one of the bullies but what I got instead ended up being exactly what I needed.

Proof that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

And some pretty great people I get to call my family.

I survived being bullied because I knew the “b!tchy girl phase” doesn’t live in everyone forever. I saw enough of it in my home life to look past it in my school life, and when I couldn’t someone managed to get some sense into me one way or another.

*A similar version of this post was written on September 26, 2012

Why I: Joined A Discernment Group

Ten years ago I was looking to make a fresh start after a near crash and burn of my academic career & a list of personal issues. (Side note: The fact that I started college more than a decade ago makes me feel kind of old.)

Here’s what’s awesome about going to a university with an active campus ministry:

There’s always something going on.

It’s almost kind of ridiculous how much stuff you can be involved in (or not).

At the time I wasn’t a practicing Catholic, in fact I was still in the recovery from Atheism phase of things, because that kind of journey practically requires a recovery period. I called myself a Christian but I wasn’t ready to “drink the Catholic k00l aid” just yet.

I steered clear of any organized group outside of the theatre department my freshman year and I was reconsidering that plan for sophomore year. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results, so I didn’t want to do the same thing.

There are always plenty of things to do in a theatre/drama department as well. There are always “other duties as assigned” (to put it one way) or a friend is working on some sort of project at all hours so if you want to see them it’s best to go to them (and then you end up helping on the same project, somehow). But I didn’t want to be a “drama kid,” at least not exclusively.

At some point during orientation, sometime after neighborhood orientation, I huddled into the campus ministry office with other new students to hear their “sales pitch”. This was some place I wanted to be involved. I knew that from visiting a friend earlier in the year. The how was the part that needed to be determined.

I’m not a try everything once type of girl but that’s pretty much what ended up happening. The first few weeks the only thing I had second thoughts on was solemn adoration; anything labeled solemn or somber means I’ll laugh uncontrollably. I needed to be better versed at adoration before the sound was turned off.

The first group I showed up for (I think) was women’s group. I loved that group. In fact many of the ladies I met thanks to that group I’m still friends with today (maybe I’ll tell you about that someday).

The next night discernment group would be meeting. I had no idea what “discernment” was but I figured it would be similar to women’s group so I showed up.

I probably should’ve looked up what discernment was before I decided to go to the group. But if I did I probably wouldn’t have gone.

Instead of sitting in the lounge area we met in the prayer room. And instead of one of the campus ministers facilitating there were two nuns, from The Little Sisters of the Poor (an order I knew nothing about, but have come to love dearly).

At some point during the hour I realized I was in a room full of ladies who were considering becoming nuns. I was in the wrong place, but I didn’t want to get up and leave (for fear of embarrassment only).

I may have countless sisters these days, but back then I had only known two, and the impression they left wasn’t one of full warm & fuzzy memories.

I left that night thinking I probably wouldn’t go back (because I wasn’t even in the same hemisphere of that life path) but when Thursday rolled around again I did. I’m still not sure why. The funny thing is I kept going. I think I only missed a few meetings during the year, when being a drama kid had to take a front seat.

I even went the night when we’d be saying the Rosary most of the time. When I grasped even less of it than I do now & I had to borrow a Rosary from the spares that someone always seemed to have on hand.

For me it wasn’t about discernment, at least not at first, it was about meeting people who just might be like minded. When that didn’t work out so well it was about having concrete examples of what I might aspire to. Not to mention meeting some religious sisters who were not only nice, but they went out of their way to invest in others.

I will never ever forget that Sister Mary David told me it was perfectly fine to fall asleep during adoration “because the Lord knows you need your rest.”

Never mind that I had agreed to sit up with the blessed sacrament only to fall asleep face down on a futon that was in our makeshift retreat chapel.

My original intent couldn’t have been any more off. However I think I got a lot more out of it than I realize (yes, even now). I made a mistake in judgment but it was one of the best mistakes I could’ve ever made (especially given my history with mistakes).

Even if I have come to have a love/hate relationship with the discernment process.

*A similar version of this post was written on September 4, 2013

Why I: Am A Reluctant Advocate

I talk about advocacy a lot but it tends to be a weird experience each time. It’s not that I don’t like talking about it. It’s kind of like talking in the third person when it doesn’t exactly fit the situation.

Why am I an advocate?
-Because there’s a void and someone needed to fill it (or in my case try to fill it).

Do I like being an advocate?
-It depends on the day.

Did I set out to be an advocate?
-No. In fact I’ve done everything in my power to avoid it for years.

But here I am anyway.

Here’s what nobody tells you about advocacy, there are no rules.

Normally I really go for the “only rule is no rules” idea but advocacy one of those extenuating circumstances.

When you put yourself out there as an advocate you open yourself up to a lot. You’re trying to make a difference, and hopefully make the world a better place. However it’s not always a fun and positive experience. There’s always going to be someone(s) out there who wants to tear you down.

The best of intentions can also be dissolved in a heartbeat.

One of the biggest downsides of digital communication is inability to decipher tone. It creates a problem when sarcasm is one of your best traits. Have you ever been told to not use sarcasm in email? The same goes for blogging (or any other online medium) for the most part.
But it’s not the only downside.

It’s hard to put yourself out there as an expert when you feel like anything but. It’s even harder when people see you as an expert. There’s pressure to get it “right.” I don’t want to mislead people.

I’m an advocate, not an expert. Most advocates are in the same boat. But the lines can, and do, get blurred, and that’s really where things get tricky. If things don’t go as you “promised” then there’s backlash. Backlash hurts, and it hurts a lot of people.

There are lots of downsides to advocacy (but there are lots of upsides too).

Will I stop my advocacy pursuits?
-Hell no, but I wouldn’t turn down any supporters.

I never wanted to be an advocate and I don’t want to be even today. But someone needs to stand up (even if it’s sometimes figurative) and say what needs to be said, no matter how reluctant you are.

Are you a reluctant advocate?

*A similar version of this post was written on May 1, 2014

I’m participating in WEGO Health’s Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge. If you want to find out more about Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge visit their blog, Facebook, Twitter. You can find more posts by searching #HAWMC.

Why I: Write About My Health

I think I’ve always been a writer in a sense. I’ve always been a storyteller. It’s genetic. My aunts are storytellers so I learned from them. I retold their stories and then I told my own.

I started writing when I decided to become rich and famous. I wanted to be part of telling good stories so I wrote the stories I wanted to tell. However, it never occurred to me to become a writer.

When I started writing online the last thing I wanted to write about was my health. Cerebral Palsy doesn’t have the most positive reputation in the public eye so I wrote about anything but that.

In 2008 I was looking at major orthopedic surgery so when I sat down to write that’s all I wrote about. I wasn’t living much else and I wanted to put my experience out there as a catharsis. I didn’t care if anyone ever read it, and very few people did.

Then one day a blogging friend who has a child with special needs sent me a link to another blog by a mom of another special needs child and asked for my thoughts. I typed out a quick response and left a longer comment on the blog itself.

And as they say, the rest is history.

I never set out to be a health blogger. I’m still not too convinced that I am one. But when almost all the personal accounts you find about your condition are one sided (or clearly incorrect) you can’t help but say something for “your kind.”

What got me started was writing my own posts in response to other peoples’ posts. It was a great starting point that got me thinking about I thought people should know or what I thought they’d want to know.

There aren’t many Cerebral Palsy blogs out there. That is there aren’t many blogs out there written by people who have CP themselves; most are parents of children with Cerebral Palsy. We exist; it’s just a minority of a minority.

There’s another reason why I write about my health. I’m a female who has Cerebral Palsy. Being a girl and growing up is hard, being a girl with Cerebral Palsy is like being in a cornfield. You think other people are out there, you just can’t find them.

I would’ve preferred to be in the background and watch but with a lack of voices out there I can’t do it. I can’t sit back and let others like me think I’m not right there with them.

*A similar version of this post was written on April 1, 2013

I’m participating in WEGO Health’s Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge. If you want to find out more about Health Activist Writer’s Month Challenge visit their blog, Facebook, Twitter. You can find more posts by searching #HAWMC.

 

Why I: Don’t Feel Obliged To Advocate

A tweet came to my attention recently that I feel I should address.

However, I must issue a warning that it hit a nerve (or more like stomped on it) for me.  It might even have ventured into “trigger warning” territory with me but you’d have to check with Mac & Katherine on that one to be absolutely sure.

Now it’s an honest question and if I wasn’t part of the CP community in the way I am now, if I were a parent instead (for example), I might have the same question.

As someone who has Cerebral Palsy and is pretty high functioning I’m probably going to get some kind of backlash for my answer, but might get some sort of support too.

In short, I do not feel an obligation to reach out to those who are more severely effected by CP.

Now if we’re talking about reaching out in terms of forming friendships with those who are more severely affected; I’ve felt like people tried to force the issue when I was younger whereas it’s virtually nonexistent now. I don’t think you should be friends with someone just because you share the same disability. For me it would be like everyone with brown eyes being friends. More goes into a friendship than one commonality.

If we’re talking about reaching out in terms of community advocacy, my answer is still no, but longer.

We are one community but we don’t act like it, more importantly (from my point of view) we aren’t treated as one community.

The way I see it we’re 3 major parts of 1 community, and each part has an element of self-involvement, which is its biggest asset but it’s also the biggest obstacle for greater unity in the CP community.

In case you’re wondering, the 3 major parts (again according to me) are:
1) Parents of kids with CP
2) Parents of adults (who can’t advocate for themselves) with CP
3) People with CP

There’s a reason why I listed them in the order that I did with CP often receive the least amount of support (based on my own experience).

I’m sure you’re heard the saying, “secure your own oxygen mask before assisting someone else.”

My whole life I’ve not been what someone or an organization was looking for:
-I couldn’t get a wheelchair as a child because I could walk.
-I couldn’t try out for any age group swim team because I was disabled.
-I couldn’t receive intensive post-operative physical therapy (ordered by my physician) because I wasn’t disabled enough.
-I can’t learn to drive from anyone other than someone appointed by the state because I’m too disabled.
-I can’t receive job searching assistance because I’m not disabled enough.
-I can’t qualify for assistance grants because I can work.
-I don’t receive the most basic medical care because I have a disability & I’m considered too old.

I was in my 20s before I realized help wasn’t going to come and find me, like it seems to do for countless other people. I had to go find it and even finding help doesn’t mean that I’m going to get help. It’s always been a running joke that I’ve never really fit into a mold or set of rules, but this was real life and not a joke.

I don’t feel obligated to reach out to those who are more severely affected by CP because there are more resources out there for them. Also I can’t advocate for everyone in the CP community because it is so diverse. I stick to what I know best, but if that ends up helping more of the CP community than great.

I need to put on my own oxygen mask before I can help anyone else.

Why I: Am An “In-Between-er”

I’m always looking for topics to relate to or give my two cents on. I’d like to say it’s because I like to keep up with what’s going on in the disability community, particularly for those living with CP obviously, but the truth is sometimes it’s just hard to think.

There’s one video in particular that I tend to think of when I’m asked about my physical abilities.

I, like Amanda, am very much an in-between-er.

If you ask anyone who has been involved in my medical care I’m pretty sure they’d agree as well, at least medically. It’s been a case of “this or that” ever since I can remember.

If I stopped to think about it my day to day life hasn’t been much different either.

-I’ve been labeled “too disabled” and “not disabled enough” in the same conversation.

-I may have hiked one of the most famous mountains in the Northwest but I can’t get through the grocery store without some form of pain, and let’s just not talk about discount stores.

-I can navigate some of the biggest airports in the world but I can’t drive myself down the street.

-I can swim faster than most people I know but they can walk faster than I can run, ever.

-I’ve taken care of groups of children with great success on my own, yet I’ve had people doubt my ability to care for a child of my own (and I don’t even have a child, at least not yet).

-People assume I live off the government, which is wrong, I don’t receive any government assistance and I am currently debt free.

-I have a learning disability but I was often in the top percentage of my classmates in my academic career.

-I can cook dinner for a group of friends but I can’t carry a cup with something in it without causing a spill, usually.

-I can lift (and/or press) more than my body weight, but if someone bumps in to me, even slightly, I’ll often stumble.

-I’m seen as young and capable in the everyday workplace but too old and risky in medicine.

-As much as I’ve accomplished I’m constantly having to prove myself.

-I have been judged for being too disabled & not disabled enough in the same conversation.

-I’ve had once in a lifetime experiences that not everyone gets to experience yet I struggle to complete tasks people do every day.

-Just because I can or can’t do something today doesn’t mean I’ll be able to do it tomorrow and vice versa.

*A similar version of this post first appeared on an old blog on September 19, 2013

Why I: Use A Wheelchair

“If you can walk, why are you in a wheelchair?”

“You shouldn’t be using your wheelchair, you can walk.”

“Aren’t you worried that if people who actually need a wheelchair find out that you really don’t than they’ll think you’re an imposter.”

This is just a short list of things people have said to me in regards to my mobility. Typically I don’t know how to best respond to these statements, but I’ll do it now, in the hopes that my thoughts are clearer written than spoken.

—The majority of wheelchair users can in fact walk, to varying to degrees. I can’t speak for all wheelchair users so I won’t. A symptom of CP is muscle fatigue which happens more quickly and lasts longer than the average person. Using a wheelchair for longer (or unknown) distances helps combat this.

—Even if you know the person in question, who elected you judge and jury over a life that’s not yours? When you can actually try living in the body of someone with CP then you can have input.

—See above paragraphs. As to whether the people who “actually need” a wheelchair will think I’m an imposter; really? I really don’t think people have time to invest in shutting someone out based on a judgment, which is probably incorrect in the first place. The disability community isn’t a secret society with rules and regulations and shunning practices that need to be infiltrated.

Whether or not to use a wheelchair is a personal choice for those with higher functioning CP so I can’t speak for everyone. I can however speak for myself. It’s one of the best parts of having a blog.

I waited a long time for a wheelchair that I could call my own. It wasn’t a decision I came to quickly because it took well over a decade to accomplish, nevertheless it’s not a decision that you should make quickly (if you can help it).

For years I suffered with chronic back pain. Even when it was at its lowest level it wouldn’t take long before the headache would occur as well. I tried to ignore the problem but it didn’t take long before pain control patches and stashes of “back up meds” became a daily thing. College (for example) was a really great time in my life but I doubt I did anything positive for my health back then, in fact I wonder if some of the decisions I made then will affect me later on.

I don’t always use my wheelchair when I should, and the same goes for when I shouldn’t. Each experience is a judgment call; with each decision I learn more about my own mobility. Looking back, I wish I had a wheelchair in college. It would’ve helped me out a lot. Then again I’m not sure I would’ve used it.

I do own a pair of crutches. I prefer not to use them. A lot of people will use them before turning to a chair but it’s not for me. My balance isn’t great & I come from a uniquely coordinated family as is. Crutches cause me to trip a lot, I trip, others trip over my crutches, which causes me to trip. It’s like a cat on a freshly cleaned kitchen floor.

Using a wheelchair is a safer option.

Crutches help with the back pain, but only to a point. There comes a time when using crutches becomes just as tiring as using just my own two feet. Sometimes it’s easier to just take the chair than pack everything up and head out the door.

Speaking from my own experience I find that people are more accepting of people in wheelchair than people who use other assistive devices, especially if you’re younger. I don’t know what it is but I get treated better using a wheelchair than crutches. I know it sounds like a cop out but sometimes it’s better to take the “easy” way, especially in situations when there can be unknowns.

I wish I didn’t have to decide whether or not to use a wheelchair but it’s part of my life. I really wouldn’t have it any other way, because I’ve known no other way.

*A similar version of this post first appeared on an old blog on March 11, 2013

Why I: Don’t Suggest Giving Up Social Media For Lent

There are certain things I can count on as Lent approaches. Without a doubt, “What are you giving up for Lent?” is the most popular question to ask and/or be asked.

Now that social media has become such an important part of our lives it’s natural to consider whether or not to give it up for 40 days. I have several friends who engage in this practice, problem is most of them don’t use social media that much anyway. So is it really that sacrificial or are they really getting any benefit from it?

A point worth considering, but not the one I wanted to make right now.

As I write this there’s a snowstorm outside (I’m a write ahead & schedule blogging type). In fact at one point it was snowing so hard that it was snowing sideways. Thus my plans for the day have been canceled and I’m attempting to stay occupied indoors. In a way it’s going to make the point of this post much more poignant, at least I hope so.

The internet, and social media, has opened up everyone’s world. What I don’t think a lot of people realize is just how much it’s opened up the world for those with disabilities.

I wouldn’t be friends with many people if it weren’t for the internet, or at least I wouldn’t be as good of friends with people if things didn’t start on the internet. Let’s just say as an introvert with a disability it’s nice to get the “getting to know you” stuff out of the way when you only get to see people in person a few times in your entire life.

I can’t forget to mention Sara. If there’s anyone who taught me that just because you have physical limits doesn’t mean you can’t create solid friendships and an intentional community. Our friendship may have been short but it left me forever changed.

I don’t suggest giving up social media for Lent for one quasi-simple reason:

You may be part of someone’s community, and it may be the only community they have access to (especially in the winter months).

Giving up your social media routine for 40 days may seem like a good idea and in some ways it can be beneficial but if you do consider who you’ll be leaving behind for 40 days.

Here are some thoughts to consider:

How much can happen in 40 days?

Also consider your group of friends, do they also give something(s) up for Lent?

Do you all give up the same thing for Lent? If so, do you still have that same sense of community because you have other ways of keeping in contact or are you able to see each other in person?

Do you have one friend (or maybe more) that seems uncomfortable with your plan for a 40 day social media fast?

Have you ever stopped and really considered why someone is resistant to give up social media (especially if you “only” know them virtually)?

Lenten sacrifices are meant to make you a better person, but not at the expense of other people. If your sacrifice is harmful to someone else than are you really working towards a greater communion with the Body of Christ?

Alternatives to consider:

Cut back on your social media practices. Check in once a day or once a week.

Post the same thing on all of your social media accounts (idea borrowed from Pat Padley FYI).

Keep community connected through email or text, or an old fashioned phone call.

Make your intentions known early on, as in before today, so if any of your friends have reservations or objections you can engage in thoughtful conversation.

Have a way to contact you on your social media profiles and make it easy to find. Have you ever received an “out of office reply” with a contact email or number included? Like that.

I’m not saying that you absolutely shouldn’t give up social media for Lent.

I’m not God, Jesus, or the Holy Spirit so I can’t say such things with absolute conviction. But I wish people wouldn’t make the decision as easily as they seem to. Virtual community isn’t the same as in person community but it’s still a community that needs nurturing, attention, and people to take part in it.

Why I: Feel Bad For Kylie Jenner

I’m sure by now you’ve heard about Kylie Jenner’s controversial photo shoot, if for no other reason than it’s taken me so long to write this post it’s been everywhere and back by now (and maybe forgotten about by now).

I know people are mad about it, a few have taken a more positive view on it.

I seem to have a slightly different point of view.

I feel bad for Kylie Jenner, something I’m not typically known to do under many circumstances.

I read that Kylie used a wheelchair to symbolize how she feel trapped by fame.

I feel bad that she’s been so sheltered to things all while living a very public life that has led her to believe that a wheelchair, and by extension disability, is something that traps people.

Having a disability isn’t awesome all the time. I have to adapt every time I leave the house, and even in my house. People take things for granted every day that I need to make living life day in and day out possible. But disability isn’t as confining and restrictive as people think.

Without my disability I would be a different person. I would have different opportunities, I can’t say if my life would be better or worse, but at the same time I wouldn’t have my life any other way than what I have now.

My parents fought for years for me to have a wheelchair, with no success. I had to rely on being pushed in an oversized stroller; that was purchased out of pocket, to get around. When that didn’t work anymore I relied on ill-fitting hand me downs from friends, sometimes even from strangers.

Once that ran its course I lived a smaller life. The internet wasn’t as popular then so I didn’t have a community to be a part of. I would sit at home and watch hours of TV and hope that someone would invite me out to somewhere I could actually go without physical repercussions and thinking though every detail before saying yes.

I wasn’t an invalid, but some people might think that’s what I was, or what I was going to become.

When I finally received my own wheelchair, one that fit me, one that I helped build, one I dreamed of having for most of my life I felt anything but trapped.

I felt freedom.

I have freedom, in large part due to my wheelchair.

A wheelchair isn’t tragic, nor is it a prop, or a symbol or a restricted life.

I feel bad for Kylie Jenner because she has a large platform, yet a restricted point of view.

She’s surrounded by people who are just as misinformed (or maybe they’re outright ableist, I can’t say for sure) as she is.

This whole Kylie in a wheelchair controversy just highlights, yet again, the misconceptions of the disability community and just how ableist our society actually is.

We are not broken people who are held back by our disabilities. Instead we are held back by people’s perceptions of what living with a disability actually looks like.

Restrictions come from perceptions held by society as a whole, not whether someone goes through life on legs or wheels.

Why You Shouldn’t Pray For Me

I believe in prayer. However public prayer tends to make me anxious, yes even during mass. Yes, me a budding Catholic theologian has issues with prayer (there’s a reason why I’m a “practicing” Catholic).

I’m pretty sure anyone with a disability, particularly a visible one, has had at least one uncomfortable public prayer experience that they’ll never forget, although they’d really really really like to.

Every time I hear or read about an awkward prayer encounter (much like the one below) I cringe, like Pavlov’s dog and that stupid bell.

Emily Sc_Sh

There are a few issues here. If someone says they don’t need help, they don’t need help so BACK OFF. It does not matter how well-meaning you are.

Now, to the actual issue I’d like to address here: Praying for people you don’t know in public. The sentiment is nice, and appreciated, but no (at least as a general rule).

If you feel the need to pray for someone out loud and in a public area, which I have no idea why you would do so, but anyway, ask the person you want to pray for if they wouldn’t mind.

Do not ask anyone else, even if the person cannot speak they can communicate, and will make their wishes known. If they say “no” respect that.

Not everyone shares the same faith and may find it offensive if you just go up to them and start praying for them (I am one of those people, just for the record).

If they say “yes” ask them if there’s anything they’d like your prayers for. I can almost guarantee that you’ll get an answer you weren’t expecting. Most people feel the need to pray for the full healing of a person with a disability. However it isn’t what we always want, especially if that person was born with their disability (like myself).

We are not broken. If you believe in God then why is it so unbelievable that God would create people “fearfully and wonderfully made” just as He made you?

So if you really feel compelled to pray for someone try to find some common ground.

But as a general rule I’m still going to say that you should not approach someone in public and pray for them, and keep your hands to yourself. You never know what potential damage you could be doing to another person, either physically, mentally, or both.

Please don’t pray for me but if you really have to, do it in private. I do not need to know you’re praying for me or why. I’m just going about my day, just like you are.